softerlife

actual honesty

Here Comes the Winter

Winter is here. The chill is worming its way through my layers, settling in my hands and feet, making me constantly rub my hands together. I feel myself wanting what I want every winter-mulled wine, driving around at night looking at Christmas lights, and more than anything else to not feel depressed because of the way winter makes me feel. Every morning I turn on my nature bright lamp, blink at the 17000 Kelvin block of light in front of me and remind myself of happy things. I listen to Charlie Brown Christmas music and think about being with my family and Jordan for the holidays, of fires in the fireplace and white chocolate peppermint bark and finding the perfect gifts for everyone. I crave days to myself without having to do anything but be with who I want when I want. The little blocks of my planner contain my scrawl of numbers and names and times and things to do and places to be. The thought of that, always being responsible for something, makes me wish I ran again. I miss that feeling of putting miles beneath my feet, the way I breathed deep with my mouth closed like I was taught, floating through the air like a fish through water-easy. I miss the way it made my brain stop buzzing so much, the beehive in my brain quieting as if calmed by smoke. Maybe I’ll find time again, but that’s been hard these days.

I’m trying to be present in whatever moment I find myself in, and be thankful for the people around me who make the day-to-day a content, happy place.

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So easy

I feel like such an old person sometimes when I honestly marvel at how fast time goes by. I can’t believe there are already red and white striped firework tents up, or that the yellow flowers that are taller than me are already out of season and gone, or that I will be 26 very very soon. I don’t like to think about that much, though. Still, some days seem to pass slowly and easily. I sleep in late, sprawl out languidly on couches with books and my cats on days off, listen to summery music with the windows down & drink lots of lemon-aid. Image aIMG_6619 IMG_6705a abIMG_6872 dfb

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Brand New

Lately, there have been so many changes happening, not necessarily to me, but more so around me. Friends are getting engaged, married, having babies…ever since entering my twenties this is something that is constantly happening, but now more than ever I am seeing  engagement rings, wedding dresses, and grainy baby outlines in black and white sonograms flood my Facebook feed. It makes me happy and feel very young at the same time. It’s strange to feel this way, like everyone else is aging in fast forward while you stay the same.

Last week, my friend, former roomie and former classmate Kenna got married! She and Dylan have been together for as long as I can remember it seems like just yesterday I was standing in our kitchen making instant coffee and loving how happy Dylan and Kenna were as they told me they were getting hitched. And now, here I am, looking at photos from last week. Happy one week anniversary, you guys! c:

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I’ve also been really lucky to see families grow in the past few years. Being the one to document these changes makes me want to eventually want to make photography my career one day. No matter what I do, I want to feel like I am doing something that helps people or at least makes them feel good. I feel like this is the most obvious way of doing that–literally putting memories on paper for others to keep.

Here is Lesleigh, who I was able to photograph at just three months, and then again recently, as a big 3 year old!!

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Lesleigh, May 2014!
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And lastly here are some photos of beautiful couple that recently introduced baby Zoe into the world. Here are some photos from a Mother’s Day photo session!

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Hit play I> and begin

“It’s almost like it feels when you’re a little kid and school is out, and you’re outside and you’re reading in the sunshine and it would feel so perfect except for that dread and constant worry of ‘when am I ever going to get a job and what kind of job will I get when I get when I get one and how much will it suck if I only manage to get a horrible one?” I said this the other day when I was talking to my friends Jen and Jeff about how it feels to be unemployed in the summertime. Happily, the feeling was shorter lived than I would have thought and I am going to start my new job on Monday! Having a usually constant stream of anxiety flowing in my brain, I am anxious, of course, but excited, too. I feel like this job was tailor made for me and everyone I’ve met has been so nice, which makes a huge difference for me. I’m just going to keep on thinking good thoughts and try to enjoy my last couple of days of unemployment c: 

I have a list of things I want do to for sure this summer as well: 

  • Firefly capturing & releasing 
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  • Stargazing in the bed of Jordan’s truck with lots of blankets and some Blue Moon &/or slushies and candy.
  • Swimming! At Applecreek or the falls. 
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  • Find a summer reading list and read lots of good books
  • Have some craft days with Aubrey. 
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  • Yard sailing
  • carnivals 
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  • Photo shoot in field of flowers 
  • Learn a new skill-rollerskating, tennis, welding, something!
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But summer isn’t quite here yet, and here are some new people and friends I’ve met during sessions and adventures I’ve recently had:

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This sweet little bird flew into Jordan’s window. I wish I could have made him my pet. 

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I took photos of this beautiful couple on their wedding day<3

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This is Lesleigh. When I first met her, she was three months old, and now she is almost 3! 

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And this is me, loving on some springtime flowers. c: ImageImage

 

 

 

Pastel Days – Image Heavy Post!

Happy Spring everyone! I hope you’re enjoying this weather–it’s been too cold for too long, but I feel so much more appreciative of the warm days having had so many cold ones. I’ve been quite busy lately, which is good since I am still looking for work–too many days studying or being unproductive really get to me after a while! With the weather being nice I’ve been lucky enough to do a family session, maternity session, and a just-for-fun photos with my friend Katie and with help from a new friend, Naomi, which I’m going to share.

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I am honestly crazy for this porch!! Katie’s vintage dress is to die for, too.

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A big thank you to Katie for modeling for me! She always amazes me and taking photos with her is so easy. The mood she brings to photos is always very genuine and raw, and she is never hesitant about exploring!

All in all, it was a pretty awesome day c:

Daffodil Days

Milly and I had a spring adventure the other day. We may have done a little innocent trespassing into a daffodil field and brought along a tiny toy piano. I waited for so long for winter to end and it seems like spring goes by so fast. It doesn’t matter, though, I love it enough for every other season put together.

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Thank you for looking! Happy Spring c:

Diners Days

I am making this post on a rainy day and to remind myself that the air outside will not always be this cold and that the explosion of blossoms is worth the rain. 

A couple of weeks ago Chelsea and I had a slumber party of sorts. It was incredibly fun since I haven’t had one in a long time and I never drank copious amounts of alcohol during one (one of the perks of getting older). We stopped at a diner and took some photos there, then went to get some groceries–cheese, cheesy pizza, vanilla vodka, cream soda, cherry sours and a pineapple. A recipe for a good time! By the way, vanilla vodka with cream soda and a splash of half and half is the creamiest, most delicious drink I ever had. I read our tarot cards and was amused at how accurate it seemed! Of course, tarot cards can be kind of vague, and maybe the alcohol made it seem more amazing than it was, but I highly recommend it c: 

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Graveyards and Cement Gardens

The air is getting warmer and I’ve noticed the yellow grass becoming a little greener each day. I’ve been leaving the windows open during thunderstorms so my room smells like the outdoors. I’ve been feeling very hermit-like this winter, studying for hours and going out only to see my little sister from Big Brothers Big Sisters or to see Jordan, with whom I’ve been watching Dexter non-stop and practically living under the quilt and blankets on his couch. I am putting off my job search until I take my certified professional coder board exam next week, which I am truly terrified about taking, but cannot wait to have over with. 
Anyway, I have found myself saying yes to lots of photo adventures and my first sleep over in a long time, which was so fun I am starting to think more adults should have them. 

A couple of weeks ago my friend Samantha was home for spring break. It was cloudy and a little blustery, but it felt so good to be taking photos again!! 

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A couple of days prior to this little adventure Jordan & I went to one of my favorite nearby places, a concrete casting/informal free petting zoo…I love it! There are camels, donkeys, peacocks, friendly dogs, goats, ducks, a huge pig, and llamas. 

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This photo makes me too happy for words c: 

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And here is just a photo of a little spot I thought I’d like to remember for future photo adventures: Image

So this is life so far, minus the hours of studying and kitties walking on my books and being distracting,Image

but I don’t care much for photographing those moments as much!

I was made for sunny days

After a seemingly endless winter, out of nowhere, last Monday was 70 degrees. I felt better than I had in a long, long time. My friend Chelsea and I got together, ate some Cherry Sours, drank a cold Coca-Cola from the bottle, and listened to King of Limbs in my car full of dresses. We hung out under bleachers and in county parks. After, I went to Jordan’s house and he showed me cute animal videos and ate granola bites. Days like those make everything okay. 

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This is Chelsea, being all day-dreamy.

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Rererepetition. I am I am I am.

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Always Coca-Colaaaaa.

 

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Unseasonable

The other day I got up usually early and ventured into the woods with my friend Milly, who has modeled for me in more photos than I can count. She was doing a project for her film class and asked me to be a silent actress, which is probably the only believable acting I can do, but I was glad to help and glad to be in the beautiful place she choose to shoot her short movie. 

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